She is Thundering

This Black Woman who is twice my height came to me in a five-day painting workshop I attended in Esalen in California this March.


She is calling, she is speaking, she is crying, she is nurturing, she is thundering..... she is the one who promise to protect, she is the one who step all fears, pains under her black feet and strong legs; she is the one who pours lights through the heart, she is the one who invite us to a life of lights! She is the one who opens our eyes to see, ears to hear, she is the one who is calling from ancient time....she is in everyone's bones and blood...she is the one who calls us to connect to each other from heart! She is our ancient mother, she arises from black soil, every cell of her blood says: come to LOVE !

This painting came to me and it surprised me. The teacher asked us just to paint like a two-year-old child, she didn't say anything about skills, and how-to... She just held the space very safe, a safe container from which we present any images that would like to present itself, just present it without sensoring. layer by layer, old fears released; layer by layer, new life born....layer by layer, tears spread; layer by layer, lights penetrate through hearts....The paper became a sacred portal, from which we connect to the source..The paper is the church, each stroke is a prayer. The teacher is the priestess who encourage us to surrender, dive into the process, dive into the unknown with curiosity, be like a child.......If this teaching is not a teaching of "faith", what can be? Let go, surrender, and trust...I stood in front of the empty paper with fear, and stood in front of the final painting in awe.

The course is called "painting from the source", the teacher aviva gold calls herself "art medicine woman"...I find my own tribe. I left my comfortable home and flew more than 10000miles to meet people who truly dare, people who create, not only a painting, but their own "one-of-a-kind"life! Dr. Clarissa pinkola Estes said in her book " woman who run with the wolves": who is the wild woman? She is the source, the light, the night, the dark,the daybreak; she is the one we leave home to look for, and she is the one we come home to!     As a woman, I had longed for a home for a long time and fortunately, I was lucky enough to set into a wonderful family with a loving, supportive husband and lovely, marvellous daughter. But until the day, I stood in front of my Black Woman, surrounded by wise, priestess teacher, and a sincerely creative sangha, I feel an indescribable and mysterious place deep deep in my spirit and soul was satisfied....nothing earthly can be compared to a life living from the source, living from the soul!

May all my loved ones, friends, and even people I don't know find true rest deep in their soul, and come to this sweetest home! May the work of " safe container" thrive, may I be blessed to provide a safe container for people to create from.......